Scott Miller

PHOENIX -- One of the headlines to emerge from the baseball world the other day -- albeit a small headline -- was that players' union boss Don Fehr intends to look into whether baseball owners are in collusion to prevent Barry Bonds from playing this season.

Fehr quickly said it was a non-story, noting that the union reviews free agent activity every season and that he wouldn't necessarily zero in on a Bonds investigation.

Which is only the latest indication that, despite the Big Man saying he wants to play in 2008, nobody's listening.

Even as the game's all-time home run king, it really isn't all that mysterious that Bonds remains jobless. First of all, he's toxic because of his legal issues. Second, he's strictly designated hitter material now -- he was a huge liability in left field for the Giants last summer -- so that eliminates 16 of the 30 big-league clubs right there.

And of the 14 American League clubs, most of them are set at DH. I count five, maybe six AL clubs who possibly could be upgraded by Bonds' bat: Seattle (Jose Vidro is the current designated hitter), Texas (Frank Catalanotto), Baltimore (Aubrey Huff, who might be traded), Tampa Bay (Johnny Gomes, who could move to another position), Kansas City (Ross Gload) and Minnesota (Jason Kubel).

Of those, a handful are small-market clubs who probably aren't going to pay Bonds anything near what he wants.

And for the very small handful of clubs for whom Bonds might, maybe, in a pinch, possibly make sense ... is it really worth it to bring in a guy whose legal future is murky? A guy who essentially has demanded his own set of rules apart from the rest of the team? A guy who is a lightening rod for bad publicity?

"He can't play for me," White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said the other day. "First of all, I already have a DH (Jim Thome). Second of all, my ballclub goes by the rules, all 25 guys. I don't know him, but he's got hiw own way. I respect that. He's the best player ever to play the game. But it's a different style.

"It's surprised me (that Bonds is unsigned) because a lot of teams need a leader like him. Maybe people don't want the aggravation of talking about him every day."

Likes: Closer Brad Lidge back in Philadelphia. ... The Washington Nationals deciding to go with their talented young pitching. Yes, it was shocking to see last year's openind day starter, John Patterson, handed his walking papers, but the injuries and rehabbing are endless. The game stops for no one, and the Nationals owe it to their players and fans to go with starting pitchers who can take the ball every day. Especially with Shawn Hill's status uncertain. John Lannan and Matt Chico are going to be good. ... Dodgers broadcaster and former big leaguer Rick Monday. Pure class. ... Honey Bear's barbecue in Phoenix. Terrific ribs, and a great motto: "You don't need no teeth to eat our meat." Plus, you've gotta like a barbecue joint with a sign out front warning that there are no weapons allowed on the premesis unless the holder is a police officer. ... The first two days of the NCAA tournament, with games going for 12 hours. ... The rocking Taco Bell cheesy something-or-other commercial with the Modern English song Melt With You. Good song, and who wouldn't like melted cheese overmeat? ... Organist Danny Federici, on the disabled list with melanoma, re-joining Bruce Springsteen's E St. Band in Indianapolis on Thursday night. Here's to continued good health. ...

Dislikes: Opening day in Japan. I'm all for growing the game and doing everything to ensure its future viability, but opening day is special and should be special for home fans. Red Sox fans will have to watch the two games Tuesday and Wednesday at 6 a.m. Oakland fans get the games at 3 a.m. They're taking one of the most sacred days of the year away from people who deserve to have it.

Sunblock day? Yessir. It's warming up in the desert, zooming up into the 80s. Easter Sunday is supposed to be in the upper-80s.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"Oh a storm is threatening my very life today
"If I don't get some shelter
"Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away
"War, children, it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away"

-- The Rolling Stones, Gimme Shelter

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- The Los Angeles Globetrotters, er, Dodgers, touched down in Phoenix, whipped the Chicago White Sox 8-2 in their first Cactus League game and then promptly named Brad Penny as their Opening Day starter.

"We sort of had it planned that way if he kept progressing this spring," Dodgers manager Joe Torre said. "Going into the sixth inning today, he had thrown only 61 pitches."

Game-time Thursday didn't come a moment too soon, either. The Dodgers actually landed in the Valley of the Sun following their two exhbition games with San Diego in China a couple of nights ago, and they worked out at Papago Park here adjacent to Phoenix Municipal Stadium on Wednesday.

Because Oakland hadn't yet vacated the facilities for Japan -- the A's left following their game Wednesday -- the Dodgers dressed for their workout in Salon B at the Phoenix Ritz Carlton Hotel and clomped out toward the team bus and cabs from there.

"It was pretty impressive that our clubhouse staff made it work," pinch-hitter Mark Sweeney said. "It was nice to see training tables under chandeliers."

Sweeney noted it was a bit unusual to go to get his car from the valet in full uniform, but not quite as unusual as catcher Gary Bennett running into Starbucks in full uniform for the morning coffee. That was the deal Sweeney drove for giving him a ride to practice.

The Dodgers were able to move their equipment into Oakland's now-empty home clubhouse Thursday morning, and they'll be temporary residents here for the rest of the spring before breaking camp -- such as it is, after shutting down Vero Beach and then spending three days in China -- next week.

The real fun then begins once they're back in Los Angeles, where the Dodgers, as part of theit 50th anniversary celebration, will host the Boston Red Sox in an exhibition game at the Los Angeles Coliseum next Saturday.

The Dodgers, who played at the Coliseum when they first moved to Southern California before Dodger Stadium was built, are expecting 115,000 fans for the nostalgic game.

And while there, the Red Sox may notice that their Green Monster suddenly seems pretty small. Because of the configuration of the Coliseum, left field will be -- I am not making this up -- 200 feet from home plate. The old Coliseum wasn't quite as "intimate" because, as you might remember from old Olympic footage, there once was a track ringing the field. But that's gone and the seats are closer, so what the Dodgers will do while attempting to keep the pitchers sane is erect a 60-foot high wall in left-field.

Wonder what Manny Ramirez will think of that?

As for the Dodgers, I'm sure they'll just be happy to be home.

Oh, and by the way, Thursday at Phoenix Municipal Stadium? The club's gear gear got moved in on time, and the Dodgers actually dressed in a clubhouse again.

"It was nice," Torre said. "And we get to do it again tomorrow."

Likes: Big pro-Dodgers crowd of 7,654 in attendance. ... White Sox hitting coach Greg Walker singing along with Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues as it was playing on the Phoenix Municipal Stadium sound system during batting practice before Thursday's Cactus League game with the Dodgers. ... Another classic A.J. Pierzynski moment in Thursday's game: He lofted a high foul pop down the left-field line and was called out even though nobody caught it. Reason? Dodgers left fielder Andre Ethier ran into one of the White Sox relievers as he was warming up on a bullpen mound. The Sox pitcher didn't move out of Ethier's way, and the umpires thumbed Pierzynski out because of the obstruction. ... The mountains in the background at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. Beautiful setting here.

Dislikes: The USA Today story the other day pointing out that one in 25 residents of New Orleans is homeless. That is an unbelievable and pathetic number for a country as supposedly advanced as ours. Yeah, great job, Brownie. ... No more wireless Internet in the Phoenix Municipal Stadium press box. The Oakland A's packed it up and took it with them when they broke camp Wednesday. Seriously, don't know whether it's on the plan to Japan or on the bus back to Oakland. Whatever, it was awfully inconvenient attempting to get work done at the Dodgers-White Sox game here Thursday. The Dodgers replaced Oakland at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. ... Arizona already on Pacific Time instead of remaining on Mountain Time, as it often is at this point in March. The problem? Once the NCAA tournament starts, we get games out here at 4:10 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. at the end of the day, as opposed to 5 and 7:30. That hour makes all the difference when you're working during the day and attempting to finish in time to see some hoops.

Sunblock day? It's warming up. Into the 80s and you'd better coat yourself with sunblock several layers of sunblock. Otherwise, you'll burn.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"Sittin' here resting my bones
"And this loneliness won't leave me alone, yes,
"Two thousand miles I roam
"Just to make this dock my home"

-- Otis Redding, (Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- Boston and Oakland players took an admirable and righteous stand Wednesday before departing for Japan. Who doesn't think the lowly coaches and trainers should be compensated? Especially if the players are earning $40,000 each?

But before delivering too much praise, let's all take a breath and remember that it was the players who dropped the ball on this one to start with.

While negotiating their deal last fall, the players negotiated to make sure they were taken care of, but nobody bothered to think about the managers and coaches.

Had they done so then, Wednesday's drama/Keystone Kops routine would have been deftly avoided.

That would have been the best option of all.

And though it was important to get it right in the end, this entire thing wound up making baseball look silly -- and revealing how uninformed the players really are.

While Boston's camp in Florida was the nerve center, the Athletics pretty much just played follow the leader all day. I was in their clubhouse at 8 a.m. Pacific time, and all the A's were hearing at that point was rumors.

"I was under the impression that the coaches and everybody would be taken care of," veteran reliever Alan Embree said.

He could have been speaking for everybody else, pretty much. The Red Sox also were under the same impression, apparently, until the last minute.

As the A's heard about what was going on and tried to keep track of the situation by watching television (ESPN was scheduled to broadcast the Boston-Toronto game, which started late because of the Red Sox players' meeting), several phone calls were exchanged from the Oakland to the Boston clubhouses. Athletics first baseman Mike Sweeney spoke with Boston pitcher Curt Schilling, among other calls.

"I want to go to Japan," Oakland shortstop Bobby Crosby said. "We're all packed up. But it's not right. I'm glad they're doing something about it."

The Athletics went into their own team meeting not long after Crosby spoke. During that, across the country, the Red Sox took the field to play Toronto. Negotiations patched things up.

Just as quickly as the storm broke out, the skies cleared.

And the planes took off for Japan.

The most astute comment of the day came from Oakland player representative Huston Street: "From here on our, there has to be more communication on every front and less assumed.

"This isn't a small-time operation."

Even though on Wednesday, it looked like one.

Likes: An item printed from the Internet posted on a bulletin board in the Oakland clubhouse entitled, "17 Ways to Make Your Trip to Japan 10 Times More Enjoyable". ... A's general manager Billy Beane standing in the Oakland dugout before his club's Cactus League finale with the Los Angeles Angels, shooting the breeze while wearing "Arsenal" shorts -- an English professional soccer team -- and a T-shirt. Looked like he was going straight into the weight room. ... This quip from one of the San Francisco writers before Wednesday night's game with the Cubs when a reporter asked what the clubhouse access times are: "Bonds is gone. There is no policy. Do what you want."

Dislikes: Knowing Ted Williams' head is still frozen somewhere near Scottsdale Stadium. ... Thinking of the sad, early death of Kirby Puckett every time I drive by the Scottsdale Hospital right across the street from the stadium. It's where Puckett was first taken when he had his stroke two springs ago.

Sunblock day? Yes, but still not real hot. Sunny and a comfortable 75 or so.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"You can't stop us on the road to freedom
"You cant stop us cause our eyes can see
"Men with insight, men in granite
"Knights in armor intent on chivalry"

-- Van Morrison, Tupelo Honey