Scott Miller

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- The Los Angeles Globetrotters, er, Dodgers, touched down in Phoenix, whipped the Chicago White Sox 8-2 in their first Cactus League game and then promptly named Brad Penny as their Opening Day starter.

"We sort of had it planned that way if he kept progressing this spring," Dodgers manager Joe Torre said. "Going into the sixth inning today, he had thrown only 61 pitches."

Game-time Thursday didn't come a moment too soon, either. The Dodgers actually landed in the Valley of the Sun following their two exhbition games with San Diego in China a couple of nights ago, and they worked out at Papago Park here adjacent to Phoenix Municipal Stadium on Wednesday.

Because Oakland hadn't yet vacated the facilities for Japan -- the A's left following their game Wednesday -- the Dodgers dressed for their workout in Salon B at the Phoenix Ritz Carlton Hotel and clomped out toward the team bus and cabs from there.

"It was pretty impressive that our clubhouse staff made it work," pinch-hitter Mark Sweeney said. "It was nice to see training tables under chandeliers."

Sweeney noted it was a bit unusual to go to get his car from the valet in full uniform, but not quite as unusual as catcher Gary Bennett running into Starbucks in full uniform for the morning coffee. That was the deal Sweeney drove for giving him a ride to practice.

The Dodgers were able to move their equipment into Oakland's now-empty home clubhouse Thursday morning, and they'll be temporary residents here for the rest of the spring before breaking camp -- such as it is, after shutting down Vero Beach and then spending three days in China -- next week.

The real fun then begins once they're back in Los Angeles, where the Dodgers, as part of theit 50th anniversary celebration, will host the Boston Red Sox in an exhibition game at the Los Angeles Coliseum next Saturday.

The Dodgers, who played at the Coliseum when they first moved to Southern California before Dodger Stadium was built, are expecting 115,000 fans for the nostalgic game.

And while there, the Red Sox may notice that their Green Monster suddenly seems pretty small. Because of the configuration of the Coliseum, left field will be -- I am not making this up -- 200 feet from home plate. The old Coliseum wasn't quite as "intimate" because, as you might remember from old Olympic footage, there once was a track ringing the field. But that's gone and the seats are closer, so what the Dodgers will do while attempting to keep the pitchers sane is erect a 60-foot high wall in left-field.

Wonder what Manny Ramirez will think of that?

As for the Dodgers, I'm sure they'll just be happy to be home.

Oh, and by the way, Thursday at Phoenix Municipal Stadium? The club's gear gear got moved in on time, and the Dodgers actually dressed in a clubhouse again.

"It was nice," Torre said. "And we get to do it again tomorrow."

Likes: Big pro-Dodgers crowd of 7,654 in attendance. ... White Sox hitting coach Greg Walker singing along with Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues as it was playing on the Phoenix Municipal Stadium sound system during batting practice before Thursday's Cactus League game with the Dodgers. ... Another classic A.J. Pierzynski moment in Thursday's game: He lofted a high foul pop down the left-field line and was called out even though nobody caught it. Reason? Dodgers left fielder Andre Ethier ran into one of the White Sox relievers as he was warming up on a bullpen mound. The Sox pitcher didn't move out of Ethier's way, and the umpires thumbed Pierzynski out because of the obstruction. ... The mountains in the background at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. Beautiful setting here.

Dislikes: The USA Today story the other day pointing out that one in 25 residents of New Orleans is homeless. That is an unbelievable and pathetic number for a country as supposedly advanced as ours. Yeah, great job, Brownie. ... No more wireless Internet in the Phoenix Municipal Stadium press box. The Oakland A's packed it up and took it with them when they broke camp Wednesday. Seriously, don't know whether it's on the plan to Japan or on the bus back to Oakland. Whatever, it was awfully inconvenient attempting to get work done at the Dodgers-White Sox game here Thursday. The Dodgers replaced Oakland at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. ... Arizona already on Pacific Time instead of remaining on Mountain Time, as it often is at this point in March. The problem? Once the NCAA tournament starts, we get games out here at 4:10 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. at the end of the day, as opposed to 5 and 7:30. That hour makes all the difference when you're working during the day and attempting to finish in time to see some hoops.

Sunblock day? It's warming up. Into the 80s and you'd better coat yourself with sunblock several layers of sunblock. Otherwise, you'll burn.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"Sittin' here resting my bones
"And this loneliness won't leave me alone, yes,
"Two thousand miles I roam
"Just to make this dock my home"

-- Otis Redding, (Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- Boston and Oakland players took an admirable and righteous stand Wednesday before departing for Japan. Who doesn't think the lowly coaches and trainers should be compensated? Especially if the players are earning $40,000 each?

But before delivering too much praise, let's all take a breath and remember that it was the players who dropped the ball on this one to start with.

While negotiating their deal last fall, the players negotiated to make sure they were taken care of, but nobody bothered to think about the managers and coaches.

Had they done so then, Wednesday's drama/Keystone Kops routine would have been deftly avoided.

That would have been the best option of all.

And though it was important to get it right in the end, this entire thing wound up making baseball look silly -- and revealing how uninformed the players really are.

While Boston's camp in Florida was the nerve center, the Athletics pretty much just played follow the leader all day. I was in their clubhouse at 8 a.m. Pacific time, and all the A's were hearing at that point was rumors.

"I was under the impression that the coaches and everybody would be taken care of," veteran reliever Alan Embree said.

He could have been speaking for everybody else, pretty much. The Red Sox also were under the same impression, apparently, until the last minute.

As the A's heard about what was going on and tried to keep track of the situation by watching television (ESPN was scheduled to broadcast the Boston-Toronto game, which started late because of the Red Sox players' meeting), several phone calls were exchanged from the Oakland to the Boston clubhouses. Athletics first baseman Mike Sweeney spoke with Boston pitcher Curt Schilling, among other calls.

"I want to go to Japan," Oakland shortstop Bobby Crosby said. "We're all packed up. But it's not right. I'm glad they're doing something about it."

The Athletics went into their own team meeting not long after Crosby spoke. During that, across the country, the Red Sox took the field to play Toronto. Negotiations patched things up.

Just as quickly as the storm broke out, the skies cleared.

And the planes took off for Japan.

The most astute comment of the day came from Oakland player representative Huston Street: "From here on our, there has to be more communication on every front and less assumed.

"This isn't a small-time operation."

Even though on Wednesday, it looked like one.

Likes: An item printed from the Internet posted on a bulletin board in the Oakland clubhouse entitled, "17 Ways to Make Your Trip to Japan 10 Times More Enjoyable". ... A's general manager Billy Beane standing in the Oakland dugout before his club's Cactus League finale with the Los Angeles Angels, shooting the breeze while wearing "Arsenal" shorts -- an English professional soccer team -- and a T-shirt. Looked like he was going straight into the weight room. ... This quip from one of the San Francisco writers before Wednesday night's game with the Cubs when a reporter asked what the clubhouse access times are: "Bonds is gone. There is no policy. Do what you want."

Dislikes: Knowing Ted Williams' head is still frozen somewhere near Scottsdale Stadium. ... Thinking of the sad, early death of Kirby Puckett every time I drive by the Scottsdale Hospital right across the street from the stadium. It's where Puckett was first taken when he had his stroke two springs ago.

Sunblock day? Yes, but still not real hot. Sunny and a comfortable 75 or so.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"You can't stop us on the road to freedom
"You cant stop us cause our eyes can see
"Men with insight, men in granite
"Knights in armor intent on chivalry"

-- Van Morrison, Tupelo Honey

PHOENIX, Ariz. -- I can't remember a spring training this painful.

And I'm not talking about the usual run of back spasms, sore arms and hamstring strains.

I'm talking about -- and I'm cringing as I type this -- Houston second baseman Kaz Matsui and Chicago Cubs outfielder Felix Pie.

Matsui will open the season on the disabled list following surgery to repair an anal fissure.

Pie returned to the Cubs' Cactus League lineup this week following surgery to repair a twisted testicle.

I'll pause here so you and I can both regain our breath.

I'd apologize in advance if you hadn't heard about these injuries and you're kind grossed out right now.

Except I read some details about Matsui's surgery over breakfast a few days ago and, hey. If I've gotta deal with this stuff over granola and yogurt, why should you get off easy? And if you were sitting down and suddenly had to stand up because just reading about Matsui's injury made you uncomfortable, well, I don't blame you. I'm standing as I type this as well.

Unless you're a doctor, you're probably wondering -- while flinching -- exactly what Matsui's injury is.

Well, I'll tell you: An anal fissure, according to doctors, is a tear of the skin near the anus that causes bleeding and pain. Matsui will miss two or three weeks, and veteran Mark Loretta will replace him at second base and bat second for the Astros.

I'd love to hear Loretta explain to family and friends how he cracked the Astros 2008 opening day lineup.

As for Pie's surgery, doctors sewed the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum wall. The Cubs said it was a minor procedure. Right, and the old classic that comes to mind here is, minor surgery is the kind of surgery that happens to someone else.

Apparently, the injury is not uncommon, and some men are more susceptible to it than others. More often than not, it happens in adolescence. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure this is the same thing my friend Ollie had at the start of cross country practice our senior year of high school. He had a procedure that I believe was awfully similar to Pie's.

Of course, back then, all we did was give Ollie grief about his, uh, situation. Figured it must have had something to do with the fact that we were going to an all-boys Catholic high school, and we'd better not ask too many questions. So all we did was razz him mercilessly, sensitive guys that we were, and I don't think we ever did get around to asking those questions.

So now that I've learned Pie ran the risk of losing the testicle if the, uh, situation wasn't corrected, now I'm going to have to phone Ollie -- who alternately is called "Dogs", for reasons that existed back when we were 16 and every day was one big laugh (oh, if we could all have those carefree days back) -- and ask him some of those questions.

Silly me. All these years, I always thought the condition simply was called what we've always called it: "Ollie Dogs Disease." But I sure haven't heard the Cubs call it that.

When does spring training end?

Likes: David Newhan homering for Houston in the final game with the Dodgers in Vero Beach as Dodgertown fades to black. How appropriate -- Newhan is the son of good friend and Hall of Famer baseball writer Ross Newhan, who spent decades covering the Dodgers in Vero. Ross and David are both top-shelf people. ... Daisuke Matsuzaka pitching Boston's opener in Japan. Come on, don't you think there was some sort of divine intervention that allowed his wife to deliver baby No. 2 in time for him to accompany the Red Sox. ... St. Paddy's day. ... My daughter throwing a runner out at the plate from left field in Monday night's softball game. ... Only a couple of days until the NCAA tournament begins.

Dislikes: See the injuries to Matsui and Pie above. ... Woody Williams getting tatooed in Houston. The Astros' pitching is shaping up to be a disaster. Shawn Chacon? Please.

Sunblock day? Clouds obstructing the sun, the temps didn't reach much over 60 ... how much longer does spring training run, anyway? It's getting too cold down here.

Rock-n-Roll lyric of the day:

"Once I was swimming cross turtle creek
"Man, them snappers all around my feet
"Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
"With both hands holding my ding a ling a ling"

-- Chuck Berry, My Ding-a-Ling